Unlike other adult awards that feature 600 categories, we're gonna cut away the bullshit of "Best Anal Performance By A Blonde Girl In Hungary," and just give out meaningful awards. There is no ass-kissing to be done here. These awards are chosen based solely on what made me stain the couch the most often, and with the most force, in 2003. I'm not concerned with marketing campaigns, acting, or plot development. It's all about hot girls performing nasty sex, and having it skillfully captured on video. All awards (except Video of the Year) are based on the entire 2003 body of work.
So without any further adieu, here are Cly Maxwell's 2003 Golden Gapes.
gape intr.v. gaped, gap·ing, gapes - 1. To open the mouth wide; yawn. 2. To stare wonderingly or stupidly, often with the mouth open. 3. To spread wide a female's anus for the camera lens to capture it for pornographic pictures or movies. Etymology: Middle English, from Old Norse gapa; perhaps akin to Latin hiare (to gape, yawn).
Female Performer of the Year: Michelle Wild
This was a total no brainer. Some other girls like Taylor Rain and Vivienne La Roche made their impressions on me this year with consistently fantastic performances, but my world begins and ends with Hungarian bombshell Michelle Wild. Not only does she have far-and-away the best natural rack in porn, but she is stunningly gorgeous, and kicks down super-hardcore scenes like nobody else. Anal, double penetration, gangbang... she rises to every occasion. I'm getting flustered just typing this. Hey, Michelle, if you need U.S. citizenship worked out, call me. I'd make you Mrs. Maxwell faster than you can say "gaping asshole."
Male Performer of the Year: Manuel Ferrara
Forgive me for being bold, but Manuel Ferrara is the best male performer to come onto the scene since Rocco Siffredi. I know that's like comparing a new rock band to The Beatles, but this guy is incredible. Not only is he hung like a beast, good looking, and fucks like an absolute banshee, but it's obvious he is mentally into everything he does. He fucks like an ugly guy with a small dick. Combine that with his equipment, and you have orafice-splitting pornography that has been pleasing the masses to no end. Manuel recently became exclusive with Red Light District Video, where he will continue his onslaught toward the world's unsuspecting vaginas and asses.
Director of the Year: Christoph Clark
Christoph Clark has been performing in and directing hardcore smut for well over a decade now, most recently for his Clark Euro Angel line at Evil Angel Video. There isn't anything flashy about his directing style, and the sex in his videos isn't as insane as Rocco or Anabolic Video may provide. But from top to bottom, from casting the absolute most beautiful women in Europe, to getting unbelievable sexual performances out of every last one of them, Christoph delivers movies like nobody else. Some of this year's best include Euro Angels Hardball #19, Christoph's Beautiful Girls #11, and Big Natural Tits #8. What stands out though is the consistency of his product... all 10 of his 2003 releases are great. If you're a fan of hardcore Euro-porn, you can never go wrong with a Christoph Clark title.
Series of the Year: Flesh Hunter (Jules Jordan Video/Evil Angel)
OK, I'm a little infatuated with Jules Jordan's movies. I'll admit that. And 2003 was no exception. Weapons of Ass Destruction #2 and Once You Go Black... #1 were great, but Jordan's best series continues to be Flesh Hunter. FH4 included such fuck bunnies as Amee Donavan, Cris Taliana and Krystal Steal. FH5 came back with Taylor Rain, Kylie Wilde and Sabrine Maui. If that wasn't enough, the recently released FH6 boasts a rare anal scene from April, along with hot contributions from Friday, Ayana Angel and Gina Lynn. The plot isn't exactly deep: Jules films hot tease segments, and then the girls get plowed in the cooch, the mouth and the poop-shoot by an array of cock. It may not be Citizen Kane, but it's enough to keep me interested.
Video of the Year: Crack Her Jack #1 (John Leslie Productions/Evil Angel)
I'm ashamed to say it, but over the past year or two I have been disappointed in the offerings from John Leslie. I consider Leslie one of, if not, the greatest of porno directors. While his movies definitely were not bad by normal standards, by Leslie standards I thought they were sub-par. I banished any such thoughts when I saw Crack Her Jack #1 this summer. Not only did it feature an amazing scene starring the love of my life, Michelle Wild, it also included some of the most gorgeous, nastiest European girls to hit the scene in 2003. Sandy Style, Lucy Lee and Jennifer Dark could all carry videos on their own, but throw them all in with Michelle and a tremendous male cast including Greg Centauro and Micky Blue, and it's virtually porno royalty. A video with off-the-charts stroke value.
As always, I hope my insights and musings enrich your private masturbatory experiences, just as these performers and movies have enriched mine. Oh, and be sure to use ample lube. Until next year... Cly
