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Once again, to somehow help justify the fact that I watch porno tapes for a living, I'm handing out trophies for excellence in smut. Now in its second year, The Golden Gape Awards continue to symbolize all that is right with the porno biz, and recognize those artists who make it worthwhile for the rest of us.
You can check out all the past Golden Gape winners and my Cly's Picks at http://www.searchextreme.com/cly/index.aspx.
VIDEO OF THE YEAR: Weapons of Ass Destruction #3
Cly Says: Every Jules Jordan release is a special event to the legion of strokers who swear by his smut. His standard fair includes exclusive girls, first-time anals, and fantastic scenes from beginning to end. This year, no movie represented that quality level better than Weapons of Ass Destruction #3. First of all, Hall of Famer Tiffany Mynx (a Jordan exclusive over the past few years) takes on 4 dudes in an awesome mini-gangbang. As if you didn't blow your load hard enough already, red-hot 18-year-old newcummer Teagan Presley gets the anal reaming of a lifetime, followed by amazing scenes featuring Asian hotties Jayna Oso, Charmane Star (first anal), Roxy Jezel, and Rose (first anal). I don't keep many DVDs after my initial viewing, but WOAD3 will be staying on the mantle for years to come.
FEMALE PERFORMER OF THE YEAR: Gia Paloma
Cly Says: It's an oft used term, but Gia Paloma just likes fucking. The world needs more girls like her. Not only is Ms. Paloma the latest in a long line of gonzo queens - the hardcore gals who specialize in anal, double penetrations, gangbangs, and other filthy acts - but she has done it with a smile on her face the entire time. This award was a near-runoff between Gia and Ariana Jollee, who also deserves a nod for her fantastic 2004. But to me, Gia had that je ne sais quoi that always keeps me entertained and wanting more. And let's not delude ourselves... these awards are about my nut-busting record for the fiscal year. Whatever the craziest directors could throw at Gia, she handled with a tenacity and energy rarely seen in adult.
MALE PERFORMER OF THE YEAR: Steve Holmes
Cly Says: There's an adage in porno that says to be a truly great male performer, you have to be a hardcore pervert. (See entry for "Silvera, Joey.") There is no bigger pervert working in the business today than Steve Holmes. Between his filthy mind and his always-hard cock, there might not be another person in the world more built to fuck on camera. Girls love him because he's always "on," and directors can't get enough of him because of his great professionalism and hardcore performances. And as a stroker, I personally like watching the guy fuck, because I know he's just as into the girl as I would be in his shoes. Through sheer will and perversion, Steve Holmes has risen to the top of the game. Like many great performers before, Steve has now moved to directing as well as performing. Check out his work from Platinum X Pictures.
DIRECTOR OF THE YEAR: Jules Jordan
Cly Says: It's hard to argue that Jules Jordan isn't the world's best porno director. There may be a handful of other immortals shooting smut today, but Jules just hits everything dead on. His flagship Flesh Hunter and Ass Worship lines continue to feature the industry's hottest girls doing the dirtiest things, plus his other additions like Weapons of Ass Destruction, Once You Go Black..., and Feeding Frenzy continue to rank as some of the best sellers on the market. His 2004 highlights included the universally praised 2-DVD set InvAsian!, a few incredible scenes from newcummer Teagan Presley, anal cherry poppings for August and April, and more great stuff from the legendary Tiffany Mynx. Don't miss anything this guy puts out.
SERIES OF THE YEAR: Service Animals
Cly Says: Joey Silvera has been at the top of the business for three decades, first as a performer, now as an award-winning director. His gonzo line Service Animals has since become the place to find porn's sexiest girls at their best, seemingly getting better and better with every release. Featuring an eclectic blend of pretty tease and load-blowing hardcore, the series has featured some of adult's hottest stars of 2004, including Teagan Presley, Katsumi, Dana Vespoli, and Roxy Jezel. SA #16 shined with a Flower and Katsumi 4-way, #17 lit it up with Foxy Lady and Sativa Rose, and #18 saw Katja Kassin getting pounded by three cocks. I've said it before: if you can't bust a nut to a Silvera movie, you're just not a real stroker.
Until next month... Happy Strokin'!
— Cly Maxwell
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