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I know it's been a while, but I'm sitting here in your inbox for a good reason: I'm handing out trophies for excellence in smut. The time has come once again, and The 3rd Annual Golden Gape Awards have arrived, symbolizing all that is right with the smutty arts, and thanking those artists who made our lives shine a little brighter in 2005.
You can check out all the past Golden Gape winners and my Cly's Picks at http://www.searchextreme.com/cly/index.aspx.
MOVIE OF THE YEAR: Take No Prisoners
Cly Says: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Jules Jordan is still one of the best purveyors of smut this world has ever seen. In 2005, his best offering was "Take No Prisoners," his first journey into the world of bondage and BDSM themes, combining them with his trademark shooting style and explosive sex. It offered just enough of the BDSM realm — enough to lure in some bondage fans, but not too much as to turn off his hardcore audience. The blend worked to perfection. The opening scene featuring Jules being dominated by blonde bombshell Nikki Benz is by far the best scene she has ever done. If you made it through that scene, you were treated to rare double penetrations from amazing newcummer Keri Sable, flotation device Brittney Skye, and barely legal cocksocket Taylor Rain. The final scene with Sativa Rose and Mary Jane as ghetto gangbangers is the icing on the cake. Hey, I have a copy of the DVD in my bedroom at home. What nicer compliment can I give?
FEMALE PERFORMER OF THE YEAR: Courtney Cummz
Cly Says: I had the pleasure of being a guest on numerous porn sets this past year, several of which featured the always radiant and charming Courtney Cummz. First of all, however hot you think Courtney is from seeing her pictures, she is way hotter in person. I have seen her at 8 a.m. without any makeup on, and she is still an insanely hot girl. I can't say that for too many girls working in the jizz biz. As if being that attractive wasn't enough, Courtney blew away any of my expectations when I first saw her perform. Not only does she "do it all" — the anals, the DPs, the interracials, the gangbangs — but she does it all with a sexyness and perversion that has caused me to soil many tissues in 2005. If you were to ask me right now to pick any girl to screw around with, I think I would probably pick Ms. Cummz. Hey, maybe if enough of you write her letters, she'll let me.
MALE PERFORMER OF THE YEAR: Manuel Ferrara
Cly Says: The 2003 Golden Gape winner for Male Performer has not dropped off at all, and has arguably become even better in the two years since we last called his name. Manuel Ferrara is the best in the world at what he does. When Rocco Siffredi (a.k.a. "The Greatest Male Performer of All-Time) was at his prime, he created a rare blend on camera, coupling unbridled aggression and rough sex with a passionate sensuality for the girls. There are plenty of guys in porno who can screw at a feverish pace, and tear apart defenseless little girls, but there are very few who can do it while making the girl fall in love with them. Manuel does that right now like no one since Rocco. Manuel just renewed his exclusive deal with Red Light District, so you can only see him (and his company Manuel Ferrara Productions) in the RLD library.
DIRECTOR OF THE YEAR: Mike John
Cly Says: I have been a huge admirer of Mike John's since before it was so hip to be one. From his early days at Anabolic, Mike created a perverted vibe in his movies, mixing motel room hooker sex with his own wacky sense of humor. His "A Perverted Point of View" series is about the closest thing I can think of to virtually nailing a hooker. Mike is without a doubt the king of POV sex, and anyone who argues otherwise is an idiot. His "POV Pervert" line from Mike John Productions (distributed by Red Light District) is maybe the most strokeable series in the entire business. And with other titles like "No Cum Dodging Allowed," "Teenage Spermaholics," and "Elastic Assholes," he has taken his game to the next level. Whether you are looking for the 1-on-1 intimacy of his POV offerings, or the group debauchery of his cum-drenched group scenes, everything that comes out this man's camera will make your dick hard. His secret? Being a downright demented pervert.
SERIES OF THE YEAR: Service Animals
Cly Says: Putting out a five scene movie with all good scenes is an accomplishment. Six out of six? Almost impossible. Ten out of ten? Unheard of (until now). With his 2005 "Service Animals" releases — volumes 19, 20 and 21 — Joey Silvera turned these movies into events. Each movie was a 2-DVD set packed with 10 scenes, and none of those scenes were filler bullshit. Each was a full-blown Joey-style fuckfest, featuring everything that made this series famous, including lots of interracial, group sex, anal, DPs, and that perverted glow only Joey can give. All three movies could easily have won Movie of the Year. Among my favorite scenes were the Taryn Thomas schoolgirl fem-dom scene from #19, and the Bianca Pureheart and Gianna Lynn 4-way scene from #20. What was great in 2004 ("Service Animals" also won the 2004 Golden Gape for Series of the Year) got even better in 2005.
Until next month... Happy Strokin'!
— Cly Maxwell
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