Once again, I have made time in my busy schedule to sit down and review one of my wonderful rubber pussies, provided for my consumption by the lovely folks at Eros Boutique. Well, actually my knob is covered it latex burns, so at 10:30 at night there isn't much for me to do except apply moisturizing creams and write silly articles.

As you might remember, I opened up the Great American Rubber Pussy Challenge last week with the Tiffany Mynx Realistic Pussy & Ass from Doc Johnson, and was thrilled with the results. Now I move on to another giant in the sex toy industry, California Exotic Novelties, and their Futurotic Aria Pussy & Ass, starring the lovely Aria Giovanni. Of course, Aria is known for softcore magazine layouts and Andrew Blake movies, and has never done anything resembling hardcore on screen. So I guess my penetration of this reproduction is historic. Or gross. One of the two.

Like the Tiffany kit, this one has a missionary orientation, with a flat back and the two orifices facing up. It is smaller than the Doc Johnson creation, with less surface area and weight. Weight is surprisingly important, as when you're thrusting your hips into a piece of rubber, more weight equals staying still equals more friction. The material was not as good as Tiffany either (Doc Johnson's latex material is unbelievably real), but still very fuckable. Like my previous victim, it came with an insertable remote-controlled vibrating egg to give the thing some life, as well as some custom lube. Really not good lube though. I prefer to use my own private stock.

Overall, it really didn't live up to my previous vaginal endeavor. Again, the Mynxster set the bar really high, so it would be unfair to say the Aria pink and stink combo kit is "bad." It is quite capable of getting you off (I did), and is cheaper than the Doc Johnson models.

The day after my "date" with Aria, I called my good buddy Arnold at Old Pueblo Distribution, who will soon be selling not only my first foray into porno production (Stick It In My Face! from Jekyll & Hyde Productions), but also the first movie from Aria Giovanni Productions, an all-girl romp called Meridians of Passion. I tell Arnold about all the fun I had with a latex copy of his leading lady, and suggest that a video clip of me fucking it would make a great easter egg feature for her DVD. Maybe we could even spice it up by having her walk in on me, and get disgusted (both by the repulsive vision of my naked body, and the fact I'm banging a piece of plastic). After a long laugh at the idea, I fill the awkward silence with, "No, really, it's a good idea." Another awkward silence, then Arnold responds with, "Um, I think I'll pass." He doesn't know what he's missing. Steven Hirsch and Larry Flynt would jump all over this offer.