It's been a while since my last rubber pussy review. I've been busy. Sue me.

After a long day at the office on a dreary Monday in LA, I figured nothing could cheer up my evening like a roll in the hay with one of my rubber poonannies. I had been on a bit of a sabbatical the past month or so... surprising when I look back on the fervor with which I welcomed my prosthetic friends into my life. Sometimes you want nothing but tuna fish sandwiches for lunch every day for weeks. Then suddenly you're sick of tuna fish. But you know you'll like it again soon enough. Today was my rubber vagina rebirth. Like Lazarus risen... this was little Cly risen inside a fake slit.

My mate today was the Lexus Ultra-Realistic Vibrating Vagina and Anus from Doc Johnson. It is the same model as the Tiffany Mynx kit from my first review, with a mold of Lexus's orifices, and a clean-shaven mound. If you'll recall, the Mynx one was amazing and a great introduction to the craft of pounding plastic. This Lexus version lived up to the same expectations. For those of you who don't know, Lexus (formerly Lexus Locklear) was a short-lived Vivid Girl in the late 1990s. She didn't have Christy's rack or Chasey's face or Janine's body, but she was respectable in the post. You'll still see her face around LA on Spearmint Rhino billboards occasionally.

Conclusion: just like the Tiffany toy, this one made for a great artificial lay. For the specifics, check out the Tiffany review here as I dart into a quick aside.

Surprisingly, the second-most frequent response I've gotten to my pussy reviews (the first, of course, being disgust) is the question of cleaning the apparatus. Funny you should ask. Each pussy comes not only with detailed cleaning instructions, but a small plastic tube of talc powder or cornstarch. Good thing they do. A 2am trip to the pantry to find cornstarch might raise some suspicions. These pussies are made of very sensitive material, and the elements will destroy them over time. Like your feet and crotch in wartime, the key is keeping them dry. Between lube and your own Peter North-like expulsions, the units are pretty damp after use. After you've spent 45 minutes pounding the shit out of Lexus's fake bunghole, the real work begins.

On the opposite end from the vagina, you will find the rinsing hole. To flush out the ick, place this hole under the faucet and run warm water. If you have a shallow sink, it becomes a contorting problem to not block the drain. After the goo stops running out, lube up your finger with mild soap, and finger-fuck the vagina, asshole, and rinse hole, then run more water throw to remove the excess soap. When it's nice and clean inside, take a dirty t-shirt, wrap it around your finger, and dry the inside. They tell you to use a towel, but a towel wrapped around a finger won't fit inside these holes... try Bridgette Kerkove for that experiment. After the innards are dry, place the pussy on a towel to dry. It takes about a full 24 hours to really dry out good (though I've gone back for seconds soon much sooner than that). Is it just me, or could this be a really good household tips segment on "The View"?